Advice To My Younger Self
Featuring…
Five residents of Berwick On The Park sharing heartfelt reflections on resilience, relationships and the lessons they wish they had known when they were young.
If experience is the greatest teacher, these voices have decades of lessons to share. This story features five older adults from Berwick on the Park Retirement Residence in Kamloops, BC: Marge Lane (85), Marg Hawkins (86), Laverne Rasmussen (83), Elaine Ryan (87) and Dale Aldrich (86), who consented to being recorded and photographed.
Participants emphasized the importance of trust, loyalty and the relationships we create or build. Many reflections described how perspectives evolve with age, sharing what they wish they had known in the past compared to what they understand now. Concerns were expressed when examining what the future holds for the following generations. These voices serve as shared reminders that wisdom truly comes from lived experiences, and through this, listeners will collectively gain priceless knowledge.
The advice shared by the residents focused on becoming resilient and self-aware. Staying authentic to yourself, even when life feels uncertain. As Lane put it, “I think you’ve got to be true to yourself […].” There was also an importance of growth and strength, pushing young people to take risks and step out of their comfort zone. Lane also stated, “To take more chances and to be more outgoing, I find I’m more outgoing as I get older than I ever was when I was younger.” Their words of wisdom came across as a gentle reminder that not everything deserves our worry. “Take life as it comes and don’t sweat the small stuff,” Rasmussen said. Aldrich added on this topic, saying, “We all make mistakes during life and you learn from your mistakes.” The overall message is clear: life doesn’t have an expectation of perfection, only participation.
When discussing relationships, the residents spoke about respect, communication and social norms. Some shared that expectations around relationships have changed over time, as Lane said, “I really think that the young people are doing it right by living with their partner for a few years before they jump into marriage and kids, and back in my day, you didn’t do that.”
They also highlighted the importance of nurturing strong, respectful relationships in all aspects of life. “The key to a long marriage is love, affection, honesty, loyalty, trustworthiness, and care and affection,” Aldrich explained. His advice resonates beyond marriage, applying to all the relationships in our lives. Hawkins added, “Respect each other’s wishes.” This holds a powerful meaning. You cannot control others, so it is important to focus on what you can do and respect others’ decisions.
Looking back, many residents expressed a desire for less pressure and more balance in their younger years. Ryan shared, “I wish I had known how to relax, not take everything so seriously.” She also reflected on expectations, noting, “It’s better to be surprised with high expectations when they come, rather than to expect them.”
Family also emerged as a recurring priority to the residents, something some wished they had appreciated sooner. As Rasmussen said, “I’ve learned how… Let’s see, how very important family is. I mean, work is very important, and your careers and so on and so forth, but the most important thing in life is your family.” Serving as a reminder that while careers and accomplishments shape our lives, it is family that ultimately defines them.
When discussing the younger generations, the residents expressed both hope and concerns. The challenges young people today will face will be more complex with global conflicts, economic struggles and the lack of peace. “It’s just the world is just so changed and, you know, I just hope, you know, there’s no wars, and you know, things can get straightened out in the world,” Lane shared. Hawkins added, “When I grew up, we didn’t see all the conflicts that are in the world now.”
Marg Hawkins sharing her one piece of advice. Cassie McNutt/TRU.
Worries were mainly created by financial stability and affordability in today’s society. Hawkins expressed these concerns, “I just worry about, uh, like, my grandchildren that are in their 20s. What is gonna happen for them? As far as even getting ahead and being able to ever afford a home.” All of them also expressed hope for more movement towards equality and understanding. Rasmussen emphasized this, “To me, we’re all just humans. We’re all one colour when it comes right down to it. We all eat and breathe, and so on and so forth and basically, our values are similar, so why can’t we just all get along?” Overall, their main wish was for peace in society.
Sharing this wisdom is not meant as a lecture by those who have experienced life, but as a gentle reminder that we don’t require all the answers for a fulfilling and successful life. Their stories are proof that life is shaped by relationships, courage and reflection. As Rasmussen summed it up, “We are all learning as we go.” Their voices provide guidance but also reassurance that what you’re facing right now is just a part of the journey, meaning comes from the simple luxuries in life, not the small things that often cause the most worry.
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